I passed upon your grave today
A marker of time loss
To a life we thought we had
Assumption our greatest downfall
I. Denial
Three months of holding on to broken thread
Unable to make a decision
Cost mental derision
"We can get through this!"
"Do you still love me?"
II. Anger
Boiling under
Surface skin
Resentment clusters
"It feels like you hate me!"
"Are you mad at me?"
III. Bargaining
How much can I take?
Trading affection for insecurity
All things must come to pass
"If we both work on ourselves it should get better."
"You can't fix what's already broken."
IV. Depression
Sleepless nights
Crying every day
Lots of chocolate, one meal daily
"You look like you've lost weight!"
"It's called the break-up diet."
V. Acceptance
There is nothing wrong with me
Knowing conflict is nothing personal
My life is mine, empowering
"It's over, and I'm OK with being alone."
"There's strength in change and the unknown."
You were exactly the right person at the right time for the person that I am becoming. The road has ended for us but the things you've taught me are essential for my next path. So I pay tribute to you; one last time. Hate washes over me a new kind of love. I don't have flowers but I have memories. And that is enough. In time, you'll know I never hated you (expressing insecurity immaturely), but I loved you once.
Farewell.
[One Single Impression: Farewell]
FEED ME
Posts
Comments
PANDA DOES PALAMPUR
- floreta
- 1) One panda's quest to be more compassionate, caring, connected and loving to self and others.
2) A Panda's pilgrimage to Palampur in the Northern Himalayas of India in hopes to enrich children's lives. Please consider supporting me with a small donation.
3) A journey with International Volunteer Headquarters, January 18 - February 6, 2010
Hi, My name is Janet, but you can call me Floreta. love or hate mail? floretacui [at] gmail [dot] com
INDIA BOUND 2010
Subscribe via email
PANDA POSSE
OLDIES BUT GOODIES
30 wandering stars:
Dear floreta--
Boy are those 2 linked...hate/love.
This is a beautiful tribute to love. Loss would never be without the investment of love.
Love to you!
I'm amazed at the emotions I felt reading this...
a person can definitely lose a lot of weight on the "break up diet"
"There is nothing wrong with me"
-no you are definitely fabulous and nothing is wrong with you. Sometimes things like this have to happen for us to become stronger, to realize that there is potential for something greater.
I'm glad you are fine with being alone, we all have to do it at some point- and those who never do- they will never know our strength. :D
Very empowering. Tanks for the little push to keep going and with our heads held high.
Hi Floretta, I like this. You are a good writer. We had similar minds this week, mine doesn't have the flavor of yours.
But it does have sleepless night (with Valium), goodbye's, dogs, and you name it.
Mine was about 39 years ago. I still sob when I sigh deeply (not in the post), it is involuntary. But I never did that until the BIG SPLIT and after.
..
Your emotions come through and ring true throughout this work Floreta. I hope this was a cleansing experience, putting your feelings into powerful and moving words. I can so relate...
Hugs, G
It's funny - I was just thinking about the 5 stages of grief...
wondering ( or trying to remember) if I had gone through all 5 when I lost my Dad... Or if I am unknowingly stuck in one!
Beautiful writing.
You expressed the powerful emotions one feels over a break-up so well...and I like the empowerment at the end, despite the pain you had to go through.
You have honored the affair of endings in a deep and meaningful way. So wonderful that you brought it full circle to empowerment~
I have known the grief of struggling with a relationship that is gone and that's the end of it. So hard to let go of love, even when it has passed.
Thank you for sharing your journey, break up diet and all!!, with us. You have nailed it well. Thank you
I still feel like this sometimes.
This is an extremely timely reminder for me as I go through a break-up. Many thanks for sharing.
Indecision, boiling, buildup to strength in change & the unknown- Very well put-
Post to be cherished. This is a brilliant one.
Great poem. I love how you've titled all the verses. Nice work.
Emotions personified here.
I love reading your poetry.
Beautiful the way you wound your way through these!
There is strength in these words of farewell. Very well done!
So well written. I leave you with my own humble attempt a couple months back:
http://haikutuna.blogspot.com/search/label/grief
:( I'm on the Bargaining stage now.
I love it!
The five steps to healing ... very beautifully expressed. Thank goodness for new beginnings!
that final paragraph is on point.
Such moving words and at the end you got the best of it. Well done.
love-bd
Beth - Yep, they most certainly are linked.. very much so. And thanks.. I didn't look at it that way as a "tribute to love", I like that..
Larissa - You're welcome! I'm glad it stirred some emotions for you.. Yes, I already feel like a much stronger person and I know I am fabulous. :D
Jim -39 years ago and still sighing. We will always carry them in our hearts I suppose.
Geraldine - i'm not sure if it was a cleansing experience. I definitely already feel cleansed.. I think i'm just very ready to move on..
Muppet Soul - Oh, glad I could remind you about the 5 stages!
Fledgling Poet - i do feel much better now. so the empowerment comes through my current state of mind.
Tammie-Lee - I'm glad I've honored it.. I don't want to disrespect our relationship at all..
SandyCarlson - Yes, it's very difficult..
Endurogirl - Welcome. :D the break up diet didn't much apply to me though.. i didn't have a lot to lose (but I did lose some)!
Tasha - I do too..
Roswila - You're welcome. I hope it can help as you go through yours..
Kilauea Poetry - thank you!
Jeeves - thanks!
Jerri - Thanks, when I saw the Farewell prompt I naturally thought about the stages of grief and then it just naturally seemed appropriate to title the verses that way.
Anthony - yes they are.
somewhatvoluble - thank you. :)
deborah godin - thanks. it's definitely cyclical.
tumblewords - thank you. i really feel its a farewell this time!
haiku tuna - i love your version also!
dark fairy - you love the bargaining stage?? :) sorry to hear that though.. maybe it doesn't have to go thru the full motions of the stages.. i'd like to hope so. but it definitely seems once it starts it meanders its way to all 5.. good luck!
amias - i agree. thank goodness for new beginnings.
joeygirl - thank you. he doesn't believe me but it's true..
beloved dreamer - thanks. i know i can come out on top.
it's very verryyy difficult to get to the last stage.. if you have so soon you must be very strong and very intent on moving on. good for you :). sometimes if you wait long enough, the hate becomes indifference. i don't know if that's good or bad.
This is one of the best if not the one, this week. It is surprising the trade-offs are so similar, be it for a guy or a girl.."Trading affection for insecurity"..i know what that feels like"..that's where i am today. Hopefully i can evade the rest.
@Niyo - of course, i don't think i'm quite moved on after only 5 mo. but i'm darn near ready and willing..
@ Sij - wow, thank you.. a high compliment! sorry you know how that feels.. it's not a fun place to be :(
Visit my blog and read "Once Heartbroken"
I pray that God heals you wound.
This is beyond talented...this is genius. You are blessed...not only in being able to get these feelings down, but being able to put it into something that allows others to work through similar feelings. Awesome...simply awesome.
Power Up Love -Thanks for the suggestion.
Mel - Wow, thanks so much! This is what I value most in poetry. The hope that others can grab onto some emotion... Relate.. Heal.
Post a Comment