I have always thought that cutting your hair after a break-up is a symbolic act; a readiness for change. I have seen many people do this after a break-up, including myself, and it is physically and emotionally freeing.
(Perhaps even healing.)
After nearly 6 months of singledom I finally cut my hair this Saturday. I couldn't have been more ready and excited. I dreamt about it the night before.
Short hair is "more me" and the inkling to cut my hair has been building up for quite some time. I had been attracting hippies lately and had hoped the new 'do would keep them away a bit.
I grew my long hair out 5 years ago when I met my ex. He preferred longer hair. It was all for him, not me.
Oh, the silly things we do for men...
I am so happy to be a little closer to "me" again. Sure, it is purely metaphysical body but short hair has been a preference of mine. I have rocked the pixie cut and a-line in my highschool and early college years. My "new" haircut is nothing I haven't already done.Lately, I relate more to my 19 year-old self featured on Archived Mondays-which was the girl with the short hair; the girl before my ex-than I do to the girl with long hair; the girl with my ex. Two very different periods of my life.
Back to short hair means bridging the gap between that 5 year stasis. It means being a little closer to who I was at 19 with the experiences I've now gained at 25, nearly 26.
It means picking up where I left off at 19 in my continued quest for self-confidence, identity, and Who I Am.
Not that being with my ex was any less of who I am but that I had gotten lost in the relationship, as so often happens when you've barely discovered yourself or lived on your own. Ever.
(As it stands now, I live with a gay couple so I still haven't lived on my own. Ever.)
I took a shower today and reached the back to grab my hair. There was hardly anything to grab! I felt as if I had lost a tail.
I literally feel lighter.
The long hair was not mine. It never felt like it was me, for me. The long hair was for my ex. A gift to him and our love. Foolish, maybe. Do what makes you happy, not what will make others happy. Selfish?
Or was I being selfless? I am not good at being selfless.
Because my hair never felt like it was truly for me, I have decided to give it to Locks of Love. It only seems fitting. My long hair I grew for a love that squandered will thrive; little pieces of me that are shared with someone who is more deserving. Something bigger than romantic love.
Something more important.
Never in my life have I thought I would ever donate anything, let alone my hair. I had always heard about Locks of Love on TV or talk show makeovers but never did I think I would actually have long enough hair to cut!
I hope this is only the first of many selfless acts as I try to navigate my self-centered tendencies.
Trust me, I'm working on it.
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41 wandering stars:
YES! loving the short hair. I've never done it after a break up but I always tend to do it after something in my life changes dramatically or I feel all old and tired of my same look (which is often) haha
OH I LOVE IT!!!
Love LOVE it! (But you knew that)
Short hair is most definitely more you.
Whoa, the hair gives you a whole new look. So sophisticated and sexy. Makes me want to cut mine but I have flat thin hair and could never get that gorgeous bob look
You look hot x
Looks great and you not only do something for yourself but also for a good cause! And uh, nice camera.
Sei'Lani Britagne - Thank you! Yes, this is what I'd consider a dramatic change in my life.
Krystal - Thanks, ME TOO!!
Chase - Yes, I know. :) And glad you can see that it's more me!
Katieleigh - yes, I have THICK hair and (er the opposite of fine) strands. Thank you.
Bryan - haha, sounds like a photographer's pick-up line if I saw one. ;) I'm so happy to be giving to a good cause!
I donated my hair too!
Your haircut looks great by the way.
Floreta...wowowow looks freaking awesome. You look really hot....katieleigh is so right.
This should get the hippies of your back for sure. I cut my hair short when I got dumped too, but know I'm growing it back out just a for me and no one else. As for mock chicken, yeah hard to forget...lololol. Thanks for always coming by and readng my stuff. Love!!!! the hair, really I do....sexy.
Huggs
JB
My gosh you look sooo hot, like the asian version chick of that girl in Rock n Rolla. You're just wowwww! That's a new level of sexiness, girlie. Work it!!!:)
You look AMAZING!!!
I love it!
NO! You had a picture of yourself taken with you holding a camera! Why are you contributing to that?!
Oh, and nice hair. Very nice to give it to Locks of Love. Wifeydoo did that, and now you and she are united in both coolness and short hair.
joeygirl - yay!! good for you.
jb - good that you're growing it back for yourself! i will probably keep mine short!
andhari - thaaank you! hmm haven't seen the girl from rock n rolla!
PQ - yay, thanks. i lovelove it.
mr. apron - lol! uh, because i'm an exception?? that's great your wife donated her hair too! we should all do that. i still have my hair.. but i'm going to donate it soon, just have to go thru the process..
That is a seriously gorgeous haircut! I did the locks of love thing a couple of years ago but did not come out of it looking that stunning!
Nice haircut! You're lucky to be a person who can look great in both long and short hair!
So glad you donated to Locks of Love. I do that too--well, I've done it two or three times now--I honestly don't remember. Just whenever my hair gets so long I can't stand it, I go to a salon and say "take off 10-12 inches--I don't care--just so long as it looks good" :) Have a great week!
Oh my GOD, I barely ever comment, but I just had to this time...you look SOOOOOO absolutely gorgeous with the new do! BEAUTIFUL!
I'm one of those guys who's partial to longer hair, so at first I wasn't sure. Having seen the pictures, you've got my approval! :)
That's a +1 for you, floreta!
Hahahaha. Your first photos. 'Look at my new hair!'
'And my boobs!'
No, just kidding; you DO look great.
I just wish my beard was long enough to donate to some charity...
I guess that makes both of us though; we've both recreated our image through the trimming of our hair!
And we both feel 5 years younger!
Sarah - thank you! i didn't realize so many people have done locks of love. i hadn't known of anyone who's done it before!
Sunshine - it's true. i look good with almost any hairstyle! And locks of love is an awesome thing to do. pretty amazing that you've done it 3 times!
Janet - aw thanks for delurking to comment! *blush*
JJ - yes, lots of guys are partial to longer hair! but glad to have your approval.
Nashe - lol, thanks!
Seb - hahaha! that's not what i was saying! that's what you're getting out of it, obviously :D rather becoming. i had no idea my boobs stand out. :P
I've done Locks of Love 3 times now (including once a little earlier than I should have because I was getting over a boy, haha) and I've always loved it. Like you said, you feel literally lighter!
In fact, I'm due for a cut soon...
You look so cute!
Welcome back to your world: the new hair is quite snazzy. I like the revisitations to the archives you've been posting, too, and how they fit with the context of now. Neat that you can go back and have a look-see, and pick up the loose strands.
Some of my favorite lines from Joni Mitchell, from the song "Hejira," on the album of the same name:
In our possessive coupling
So much could not be expressed
So now I am returning to myself
These things that you and I suppressed
Best wishes...
I could definitely relate to the feeling of cutting your hair after a breakup. I have long dreadlocks and after I came out of a 4 yr college relationship a few yrs ago I considered chopping them off. I didn't though... but I came really close to doing it. The short hair seems to suit you well though, so good job!
OO very sassy! Great change.
I have two friends who did Locks of love too, its a good feeling, someone else will have luscious locks, YOUR luscious locks. that must feel great.
Kristan - wow, 3 times is a lot. I've never had my hair long enough until now to do it the first time!
Murat - glad you can see the archives as it relates to now. thank you for the lyrics. i haven't heard much of Joni and i ought to. the lyrics are perfect.. hits right on the nail.
peaceofpi - cutting off dreadlocks would be more horrifying than regular hair i think. dreadlocks take more work to 'grow'! i'm glad you chose to keep it in your case.. i like dreads!
SSQuo - thank you. it does feel good! Luscious locks.. i like that :D
I love the short hair! I do the same thing, only I don't wait very long. Chop chop, asap. The quicker the better... makes me feel like a new person with less incentive to return to an old relationship... which i am known to do.
AMAZING HAIR CUT.
So cute.
I forget what culture it is - maybe it's many - but there's a full belief that cutting your hair is a spiritual experience, and releasing yourself from the experiences you had with it.
And yay for locks of love - my hair grows so quickly I've made a few donations, myself.
I need a haircut.
You look totally gorgeous... Love it
Hi, this is my first time reading your blog. The shroom entry was too much so I decided I would comment on this one. lol. I fairly recently cut my hair too. It was really long and now about the length of yours. But I'm the opposite. I feel much more at ease with long hair. And literally every single night I dream I have long hair again.
But after a break up it is kind of freeing to cut it all off. I've done that before definitely. A few times. (:
The haircut is very cute!
I'm a big fan of short hair and I think it signifies that you question things and the status quo. Great going with the chops!
Lindsay - it's probably good to do it sooner. I guess I've finally got around to it because I finally feel "ready" to let go.
Muppet - dang, now i'm thinking i could have totally written this in a cultural/anthropological way and it would have been cool. oh well! nice to know!!
DocElectron - thank you!
Sarahahaha - thanks for visiting! i bet you also look cute with short hair but nothing wrong with longer preference. why did you cut it then?
Rikin - thanks, i never thought of associating it with that but i definitely agree it makes a statement. then again, i feel really LONG hair does too!
I recently cut my long hair too! My new hairstyle is just like yours and it's been a great hit with friends... and men. haha.
At first I wasn't used to it - reaching for it when it's not there, shampooing feels different etc. Now I think it's the best, impulsive decision ever! It's a change that I needed. :)
I told you this already but I LOVE the cut! Mine's sort of cut like that too, but without the bangs, and I can't ever get mine to be completely straight (I have a few annoying cowlicks but I wear my hair messy anyway). I've found that I cut my hair BEFORE I end a relationship, as if it's my subconscious telling me I need to make a change before I actually do it. I dyed my hair blonde a few months before I left Scott, so I figure that counts as a huge change. And now, I'm rambling because I am so tired!
I love your new do! Yep, I'm guilty of cutting hair after a break up. :)
The new haircut looks lovely. And lovely too is your decision to donate your long hair to Locks of Love.
I wish I could shave my head sometimes; like a Tibetan monk.
almost loved - great hit with friends and men.. that's good to know! and oh, it's totally a change that i needed!
aubrey - thanks! yeah, my hair is SUPER straight! interesting that you cut *before* a relationship ends.. i can see that too though!
lisaschaos - my theory on this is totally true.. :)
pagan sphinx - shaving your head.. now THAT'S a statement! that might look neat though. some woman look gorgeous without hair. i just don't know if i'm one of them! (and i totally thought about shaving my head years ago but chickened out)
The short hair really suits you...I think everyone has a symbolic thing in their relationship. In my case with the ex it was my nails...he was obsessed with my hands so when we broke up I stopped getting manicures and caring about them. It seems silly but I knew I was over him when I was able to care again.
Jossie - Thank you, I think it suits me too. I understand what you mean about your nails.. First the response is rebelling against his wishes and then you found your OWN groove with them where it didn't have to be about him anymore.
i love your hair short! it looks soooooooooooooooooooooooo amazing!
I think you look great with long hair or short hair. But the last cut really gives you more shine. May be because you feel lighter now :).
You look absolutely smashing with the new style! I would imagine you will turn heads . . . which has to be a shot to the self esteem. I'm just getting around to some of the new visitors to my blog since it became "a blog of note." I also use a Nikon D40 and have found photography a great creative outlet as well as therapy of sorts as I travel and evolve through the mid-life passage in life. I wish you the very best in your travels and travails . . . you're off to a great start.
Vesper - thank youuu! :)
Rosidah - Shine is a nice word. I really do feel lighter. :)
Slim - thanks so much! not sure if i have turned any heads yet. i am pretty oblivious to when people check me out, etc. shot of self-esteem still underway just because *I* feel better!! this cut wasn't for anyone but myself.
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