Language

I have three languages I love.

I. Language of Words

Bourne on the tip of my tongue
Melting syllables like creamsicles dripping
in the Summer air
Language blossoms
A sweet, childlike innocence

My first language was Visaya, a southern dialect of the Philippines. I don't remember most of it anymore, but I'd like to go back and live there long enough to learn. I know enough to eavesdrop fairly well. If you talk to me in Visaya, I will respond to you in English. If I don't understand, I'll blink with that blank look on my face and say Di ko makasulti og Vinisaya.. Makasabut gamay.. English lang! [I don't speak visaya.. I understand little.. English only!] I had a thick accent when I was a kid, and my peers made fun of me for it. Language was difficult for me. I would hardly talk because I was ashamed. Kids can be mean... Spitting on my face, pushing me down, degrading... But oh, how I loved to read, and I sought language through words. I'd read everything in sight, from signage, posters, newspapers, magazines and books. I loved books. Of course, I still do.

II. Language of Love

Movement slithers tip of tongue
Like soft gentle whispers
Lascivious touch
Around your ear
Can you hear?
The universal language of love

Of all the things I miss most about being in a relationship, it is simply touch. Intimate touch. I love cuddling and being close to someone. My space bubble is almost non-existent when I am around someone special. Cuddling on the couch under a blanket and watching a movie is often more preferable than sex in my book. Then again, post-coital cuddling is just as nice... I am very affectionate when I am allowed to be. A relationship without touch would kill me, and it has. It is simply a necessity. Without it, I go crazy. Maybe that's clingy but I'd like to think of it as a basic need: love and security. I firmly believe touch, and more specifically, lots of hugs every day, keep up personal morale and happiness that would help sustain not only relationships, but personal well being. My friends and I try to hug eachother often, as we believe four hugs a day is good for our spirits.

The language of love, though silent, says so much with body language and gestures alone. It is a universal language that crosses cultural barriers. I miss those intimate moments. Sometimes, I'm afraid that I am too scared of men or too broken to experience this kind of touch again. It's not easy to give your heart away to just anyone anymore. I am very selective. Dating is a waste of time. And I know at this point in my life, I cannot give to another as much as I'd like to. And I want to. I know I have a lot of love to give, but not just yet. I trust that I'll know it when I see it, and I'll know when I'm ready. Despite it all, I know that things will work itself out.

III. Language of Music

Rhythmic sensuality feels the beat
Mathematical time signatures beauty
Dancing synchronicity
Music feeds my soul

I learned how to play violin when I was 9. I started out with a empty cereal box. My teacher had us practice how to hold a violin with a cereal box, in just three easy steps! Since then, I have acquired an appreciation and liking for classical music, world music, and music of all kinds. Nothing beats a live concert. Dancing brings cultures together, as you do not have to speak, just move to the rhythm and smile. I remember late night "discos" in the middle of the streets while I visited the Philippines. Acoustic guitar serenades with the neighbor boys. Music can be spiritual, sensual and deeply personal, intimate or all of these things all at once. I am both a connoisseur to music and at times, a participant. Whether improvising or readings notes on a page, I love the feeling of being a part of something. The language of music is a shared experience. Music is a collaboration.

Last summer, I took violin lessons from a woman who taught me how to play Celtic/Irish fiddle and improvise. I was shy at first, but I learned that I had the ability to emote my feelings into music. It is literally as if you are talking with your instrument. Improvisation is very freeing, away from the structure of notes on a page. I am starting to prefer it. We would bounce off of eachother and the melodies we came up with impressed me! I had no idea I had it in me, but the language of music pulses within my soul.



Kutiman, in true postmodern collaborative form, mixes different youtube videos to make an entirely new creation of music. It is truly an amazing 21st century musical language. Check out more of his work at Thru-you.com


Sunday Scribblings #159: Language