Just joking, boys! Really.
(Though I did accidentally knee a boy in the gonads one time in karate.)
I'm really rather harmless.
(ACCIDENT!)
And nice.
(And timid.)
Promise.
What I mean to say is this:
I'm single, and I'm Ms. Independent. This will never be a dating blog. Hell, this will never be a relationship blog.
That's not to say there's not a sappy romantic in me. There is.
Or that I will be single for the rest of my life. I won't.
Just that I have better things to talk about. Hopefully.
The truth is, I feel rather pathetic when I obsess about boys, much less talk about them. I don't want to wait on beck and call for my cell phone to ring or get upset when he doesn't text me. I want to be above that. I just want to live my life.
Or that I will be single for the rest of my life. I won't.
Just that I have better things to talk about. Hopefully.
The truth is, I feel rather pathetic when I obsess about boys, much less talk about them. I don't want to wait on beck and call for my cell phone to ring or get upset when he doesn't text me. I want to be above that. I just want to live my life.
I don't want to be the damsel waiting for her prince.
(That's not to say I don't slip once in awhile. I have a bad habit of overanalyzing... And living in my head, and...)
I may be Ms. Independent now but when I'm in a relationship, I'm Ms. Codependent. I don't want to be that anymore. I want to be independent, with or without someone to share that with. For that to happen, I think I need to be Ms. Independent for awhile longer.
Not to sound Ms. Conceited, but I'd like to think I'm a good catch. I mean, I've got Talent up the wazoo! (So much so that I often find myself unable to focus on any ONE thing and feel like I waste my talent and "potential" because I hardly do anything so in actuality this makes me feel like a loser but that's another story [or post]...) There's a downside to that though. Like being uberpicky on who to date (what can I say? I've got high standards! Not to be confused by high expectations...) or being somewhat high maintenance (I thought about deleting this but yes, I admit it). There's a balance between career/hobbies and love/relationships though. Right now, I'm focusing on Me, and I don't want to waste my time on relationships because the thought of that still freaks me out. While I do miss companionship, I am glad I am single, and not having to deal with "relationship problems" and cheating, jealousy/my whacked out emotions.
There's something to be said about the Independent woman; the talented woman and/or the career-oriented woman and their singledom. It seems like many likeminded women have the same problem. It could be that they're too busy trying to do other things with their lives that they don't think finding someone is a top priority. It could be that passively waiting around for the next guy to show up isn't their style and they'd rather live their life instead of put it on hold. It could be that guys are intimidated by women who are smarter than them, more established than them, or make more money than them. It could be that society is still trying to adjust to more women going to college than men and the consequences/dichotomy of feminism. It could be that women are too picky, or have high expectations that do nothing but limit themselves from possibly finding the right person. It could be that Independent women don't want to settle.
It could be a lot of things.
I admit, finding someone isn't a priority right now. I may be a good catch (in theory) but I don't want to go there. I call red light. If you ever come near me I'll kick your ass.
Figuratively of course.
Posts
23 wandering stars:
remind me to wear a cup next time we chat.
:P pshhh
it was some floor move rolling around with him on top pinning me on my back and then me rolling over to pin him and well my knee accidentally hit him on my roll over. yeah. i didn't really have to explain all that. floor moves.. oivay. but what are the chances of THAT happening when we chat :P you're safe.
Nicely done, Floreta. There are definitely other women with the same problem.
Oh...thank God you are figurative!Well u hit the nail on the head when u say u want 2 b above waiting for a text the entire day n being upset if that doesn't arrive.Love does curb your independence in more ways than one; one of my classmates who had recently broken up was saying that she enjoyed her independence now.But then again it's the least u can give up for the person u love the most n wanna spend your life with.On the brighter side, u don't have to wait 4 ur prince to turn up, he'd rather arrive.Love doesn't happen, it hits u like lightening and by the time u realize, u know it's too late!!!!!
I'd like to watch you kick my ass in any sense OTHER than physically...
nashe - i hesitate to even call it a 'problem' but yep!
deeptesh - agreed deep.. i like the idea of 'arriving' rather than waiting.
seb - dang umm.. well i suck at chess.. battle of wits.. not sure. *shrugs* you'd win :(
I can definitely relate to some of that. I'm pickier than I probably should be, and my career is a much higher priority to me than finding a boy. Though in a sense I am passively waiting for my "prince", since I'm not actively searching for him. I just have other things to do while I wait. But, uh, I've been waiting for a long time, so I can't exactly tell if it's going to work.
eleni,
see, i'd like to think of the "passive waiting" as being proactive! i am proactively working on my self/life/whatever which will only radiate a happier, vibrant, attractive me that will attract whoever is LUCKY enough to be with me :P it may not be outwardly proactive but its very much inwardly so. and i hate searching (dating etc.) it's just not my style.
Translated: MEN SHOULD DO ALL THE HARD WORK DAMNIT. EGALITE, LIBERTE, FRATERNITE!
haha well gosh if i really dig you i'd ask you out too, you know. i'm just sayin being proactive inwardly will make me appear more attractive, confident, sexy. which can only be a good thing! and if that darn karate boy would actually come to class i WOULD ask him out =/ i guess i need to work on my belt rank faster so we can be in the same class again ??
-Love is usually impractical.
-Not caring is power.
-Independence should be redundant.
-Giving up your identity in a relationship to live in someone elses world, or to play a role is pathetic.
-Living with a mate can be a bad idea, no matter how much you love them.
-Protest is see through.
-Giving up is questionable.
-Giving in to true romance and the possibility of love, heartbreak, and feeling deeply is bold and limitless in bounty and sharing.
-Words are nothing compared to a first kiss.
Jealous. Being single is so much better for me too. :)
I definitely relate to a lot of what you said, especially the being 'picky'.
But damn it girl - work on that Karate belt - NOW! If I remember correctly, you have a fabulous new dress - well Karate Boy needs to see that dress on your date!
How was that for motivational dating-speak? ;)
Here here....
They were just having a discussion about this on 20sb - did you see that? They were asking if single girls didn't like reading the blogs of people in relationships, and a lot of them said no!
It's like - I'm married, do I gush and talk and focus on my husband? nooo... I think the sign of a happily involved person is someone who still maintains a sense of SELF and their OWN interests... Whenever I see a blog that is relationship-heavy whether or not there's a temporary crisis ( I realize that's what they were talking about on 20sb, but the wording didn't indicate that) I think 'oh... Well they're not nearly as happy as they're saying, they're trying to prove their love a little too much'.
"(So much so that I often find myself unable to focus on any ONE thing and feel like I waste my talent and "potential" because I hardly do anything so in actuality this makes me feel like a loser but that's another story [or post]...)"
I could WRITE that post.
Strangely enough, I'm not intimidated by independent women...I seek them out. A woman who threatens to kick my ass is usually held to her word. I accept your challenge! ;P
LMAO you and I should meet. That was exactly my attitude about being single. I refuse to get on my hands and knees waiting for a guy! It's just not my style.
i totally agree with the part which says they don't want to put their life on hold (or something to that effect). i'm for one, am glad that i am single right now, that i can focus on building my career and such (not to say i'd say no straight away to the next almost perfect suitor - i have high standards too, but these days i have become much more lenient regarding this matter). i'm not crazy to snatch the guy sitting next to me to be my boyfriend and all, but if i happen to find the one, why not, right?
I so agree with almost everything you said! From the overanalyzing, living in her own head, being uberpicky, and having a lot of things to do in life, that "finding" a relationship is really at the bottom of my list. yep, it's not being conceited.
and i hate people who keep on asking me why i don't have a boyfriend yet! at this point i know i'm not missing anything really.
*deletes his dirty private message*
Ben - great thoughts! i agree with all of it. i'm not sure about cohabitation anymore..
andhari - maybe it's better for most girls. i think i actually read once that women are happier when they're single and men are happier when they're coupled!! generally speaking of course.. but interesting what that 'shows' about men and women.
chown town - good one!! he definitely SHOULD see that dress, and i definitely could fit better in it after a few more pounds.. :P but i still look hot in it NOW. yesyes i need to work on my belt ;P
muppet - oooh i think i saw a different thread topic on 20sb that related to this!! it was on the singles group! yeah, i didn't maintain a sense of self and abandoned my interests and that's in large part why my relationship failed. more to it of course.. and we should write that post together!!
OmegaRadium - are you subtly saying you're seeking me out, JJ ;P haha.
kat - oh it would be lovely to meet you!! when i think hands and knees i think karate now (and how to get out of it!). heheh..
girl in stiletto - yep, that's how i feel too. i'm glad i'm single right now. there's a lot of things i'm focusing on!
ella - i'm glad it's not conceited then! it's just a matter of knowing What I Want.. and i know what i want now is to be single.. and if that changes i'll know it when i see it. i know the feeling, it's happened before. dating kind of forces the issue and is kind of pointless. if there's no immediate spark for me/click or connection i'm not going to pursue it. then again, if there IS a connection, i tread lightly because i know chemistry can be dangerous (insane pheremones and all)
bard - hahaha! go ahead and send it. i dare you.
i think my high priority is lookin for a guy and settling down and career afterwards :$
AD - aw, that's totally ok too! the thing about it is there is no "right" or "wrong" way or order to things! what i've found is that when people tend to think of relationships/life in steps and that they can't have one without first completing the other, they will never get what they want!! life is all about improv and "Plan B" (or C, or D, etc.) you have to learn to let go and be flexible. if someone won't marry because they haven't first completed school or career or don't feel it's the "right time", it's just code for not being with the right person. unfortunately i've found this out the hard way. if they're not ready to marry you now, they never will! when you find the right person, getting married won't feel like some enlightened future step, it will just feel right. things will make sense..
This definitely sounds like where I am right now! I hate obsessing about boys (although I'm pretty open about my guy-craziness, but only talk about it jokingly), it makes me feel, well, pathetic, like you said. Though I wouldn't turn down a date right now, it's not something that's constantly on my mind or anything, I have other things to worry about and it's not like I think I'll be single forever.
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