How to Date a Tough Girl

Visit the Tough Girls in this video: Kat, Ria, Perky

No, this is not an ad to date one of these fine ladies. I'm pretty sure most of us are "off the market", so to speak. This is merely a primer introduction to the "Tough Girl". As Kat (who inspired this writing prompt) has said, a “Tough Girl” isn’t limited to just women in the fighting arts, it’s independent women who do not conform to gender stereotypes.

When dating (or marrying) an ambitious, hard-headed, opinionated, no-BS type of woman, what are things he should look out for? What are things he should be careful of? What can he do to make things easier and make the relationship smoother?

As an aside, I would like to add that although I consider myself an all-around tough girl, I am by no means an expert in dating a tough girl (though I'd sure like to try). I can only offer my own experiences, likes and gripes. Nevertheless, this is not a dating guide to myself, honest. ;P

1. Treat her as an equal. Chivalry is dead for the tough girl. Doing things she is fully capable of doing on her own isn't going to go over well. Out with the old and in with the new. A tough girl isn't old fashioned. She has progressive values and career goals, and she's not going to pick up after you.
   
2. Tough Girls have Feminist tendencies. Depending on the guy, this can either be a good thing, or "something to look out for". Depending on the relationship and compatibility, it can either enhance or hinder the partnership. Although studies show Feminists have better relationships and sex lives, it is still dependent upon compatibility. Read: whether or not the guy can handle feminism, or whether or not the girl can apply feminism to the relationship.
   
3. Be supportive and treat her with respect. This should really be a rule for any relationship. A tough girl has her own ideas and agendas about her life and what she wants to do with it. She has hobbies and interests that she wants to cultivate. Encourage that. Be positive. Don't berate her when she isn't doing what she wants and thus snowballing the negative. This does not lend a helping hand and only pushes her further down.
4. Be a friend. A good relationship should first and foremost be a good friendship. Listen to her when she needs to talk. The tough girl doesn't want answers (she can figure that out herself), she just wants an ear, and maybe even a hug. Yes, even the tough girl sometimes just wants to be held.
   
5. Don't take things too seriously. A tough girl can be stubborn and vicious. Realize this is part of who she is and learn to accept it. Don't take things too personally when she behaves in ways that may be difficult or undesirable towards you. It is nothing personal. Rather than work against it, work around it. Learn to let go of the emotions and detach from the problem. Know when to walk away and cool off. If you can't accept the tough girl for who she is, then don't expect sunshine. You can't mold the tough girl into something you want to change.
6. Communicate. The tough girl wants to work with you, not against you. She can be fiercely passionate and loving with the right amount of emotional support and availability. She holds honesty above all else and strives for a trusting environment. The tough girl can bend rules so long as communication is open.
   
7. Romance. Despite her unconventional, often progressive ways, the tough girl digs romance. Those little things that remind her you're thinking about her is a winner for every girl that the tough girl is not immune to. Sure, generic flowers and jewelry might not be her cup of tea, but creative ways to show her you care does not go unappreciated. The tough girl may or may not want a proposal and traditional down-on-one-knee scene, but a little wooing isn't completely off limits in her book. You'd be surprised!

Remember: Tough Girls march to the beat of their own drum. They come in all different shapes and sizes so this is a general guideline. Do NOT treat the Tough Girl generically because the Tough Girl is far from it.

What advice would you give for someone dating a tough girl? What are things you'd like in your own dating experiences/relationships?