Best of 2009

Friends, 2009 has been a great year. And I am happy to bring on the New Year. I have some exciting news that involves a new domain, new site, and starting "fresh" for 2010. Hope to see you at my new site for 2010 [details soon]. But first, a look into what this year has been about, through blog archives:

January:
I start "Archive Mondays" with an introspective look at Where I Was, Where I am, and Where I'd Like to Be:
[Excerpt: Pilgrimage]

I'd like to volunteer. I'd like to be a confident, grounded, whole, fulfilled individual. I'd like to be comfortable with myself, and comfortable with the idea of sharing my life with someone else. I'd like to be giving. I'd like to travel, or travel to volunteer. I'd like to make a difference in this world. I'd like to write a novel, or be a professional artist, or photographer or... at least realize that I can be anything I set my mind on, and have the tenacity to achieve it.  Read the Rest.

Other January "best of" entries:

• On Being Bisexual - Part I (I never did make a part II... maybe next year? *wink*) 
• For Richer or Poorer - My views on marriage, in which I liken myself to Medusa
• Skin - Possibly my most popular post ever. An erotic poem expose on beauty.
• Regret - Short fiction on abortion

February:
[Excerpt: Courage in Patience]

Sometimes, I almost wish I had been sexually abused so that I have a better justification for how messed up I am, or how messed up I sometimes feel. I know that's an incredibly weird thought, and even weirder still, I have had rape fantasies. Something about being submissive and so irresistably sexy that he ravages me with animalistic force, strength and dominance. Read the rest.

[Excerpt: Lost (In Translation)]

My island is calling me. Tempting me to go back. Telling me that I will be found. My island exists and I must go back soon. The Philippines may be my next destination of permanent impermanence. This feeling, this calling, formulatating thought bubbles in my head that are starting to formulate a goal. Read the rest.

March: 
[Excerpt: Listen up!]

It's just a dream, you know. I awake from it in a daze. Reality sinks in that I've been celibate for too long. And that I have promised myself that I will remain celibate for at least a year. That's crazy, maybe. But I need a year long sabbatical from outside distractions. I'm not religious by any means. Spiritual, perhaps. I need this time for myself like I need water. Nourishment. Survival. For now, I just have my imagination, my hands, and my vibrator. Read the rest.

• Big Me, Little Me - A letter to my past and future selves. 
• The Mitigations of Moving On - Finally cutting my hair as a symbol to cutting free of a past relationship.
• Farewell - A poem about the 5 stages of Grief.

April:

[Excerpt: Karate Kink]

The slight stench of body odor permeates my senses as my opponent approaches me from a choke behind hold. His sweaty body grips me in sticky skin against skin. In a few seconds, I have flipped him on his back, using my leg muscles for power and leverage in a bent over squat. Read the rest.

• Choosing Martial Arts: A Celebration - I recount my first belt initiation with pride. 
• Scared - Three things I am scared of.
• Language - Three languages I love (words, love, music).
• From Atheism to Agnosticism - My spiritual Journey has really come full circle.

May:

[Excerpt: Dear Child]

 I haven't met you yet, but I Love you. On this Earth, I will love you with every molecule, cell, atom and soul of my existence. There is no other way. [...]

Follow your dreams. Both waking and asleep. Trust your intuition. The answers you seek are all within you, if you know how to look. Look closer.

Enjoy the silence. Enjoy the spaces in between. This is how you learn to truly see. Read the rest

• Is Technology Making us Dumb? - Well, is it? 

June:

[Excerpt: Confessions of a Groupie]

Sometimes, I dream of him. I wonder how rock stars fuck. I have waking fantasies. Fantasies like we're cuddling and our lips meet in a passionate dance. Soon, my lips are roaming, tasting every inch of his skin from his neck to his hip bones to his inner thighs. Fantasies like his hands are roaming and entering me with two fingers flicking inside me as if he were finger-picking a guitar. I've never been with a musician but I'd like to think they can play me like music. Each sensuous vibration like bow to string; pure raw noisy sex. Harmonious and interwoven. Read the rest.

•  Blue Rain - Remembering Michael Jackson's death with a tribute poem.
• The Lonely American - Thoughts on American's rugged independence and the need for community.
• How to Date a Tough Girl - A dating guide not exclusive to me. ;)
• Travel San Francisco - Sharing some images of my trip.

July:

• Redefining the Modern Marriage in a Postmodern World - Thoughts on marriage. 
• Body Dysmorphia - Even I feel fat sometimes...

August:

[Excerpt: When Did My Life Become So ADULT!?]

Being an adult means making your own decisions. It's not something I've been comfortable doing, but the more you do it, the "bigger" you get and the more confidence you achieve. This isn't just ego gratification or cockiness, it's true inner confidence, and I've seen it happen in my own life. Read the rest.

•  The Seven People I'd Most Like to Meet - You know, the dead people for dinner thing.

September:

[Excerpt: India Bound: 2010]

The thought of 2010 is both exciting and extremely scary. I am anxious. I don't know how I will be as a volunteer. I don't know what exactly I'll be doing to help, other than "taking basic school lessons, playing with the children, providing medical support for them and introducing them to activities (such as painting) that they would never otherwise have a chance to do." I don't know how I will get everything together by January, and even the little details of getting everything in place worries me. I am terrified, but I am following through with this. I am absolutely committed and believe this is exactly what I have to do and want to do. Read the rest.

• Say Cheese! My Journey Through Ink [Picture Edition] - In which I get my first tattoo. 
• Asianphiles and the Caucasian Male/Asian Female Relationship - The post that gives me the most google hits. ;P
• Hungry - Thoughts on love, life, and on being single. 
• "Smita Meands Smile" Or: My first Bollywood Class - I took Indian dance for about two months.

October:

• Sunday Scribblings: Junk - A slightly embarrassing video of me getting back into guitar (before I sold it).
• Disneyworld - In which I visit Florida for the first time.

November:

• Top 10 Things I'd Like to Do While Living in Asia - Not your typical list
• No God and Eastern Philosophy - Using my spiritual concept to talk philosophy

December:

• Part II: Wherever the Wind Blows Me - The reality based story that inspired my venture back into erotic writings.

Thanks for being part of a great year.